Hemm

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul." I'm a little sad right now, kiddies. Well, not so much on the little, but I'm not going to shoot myself or anything, I promise. Shades and I broke up yesterday. I'm doing alright. To be honest, it was such a dream come true that I could never quite believe it was real, so I'm already finding that I remember it like a dream. That's a blessing in itself. I don't regret one minute. Shades is still one of my dearest friends. I can't afford to lose a friendship that important to me. Of course things will be awkward for a while, but it will get better... God willing. I'm sad that it lasted such a short time, but I trust God and He knows what He's up to. I realized today that what I felt for Shades is very similar to how I need to act towards God. You know that song, "Jesus, Lover of My Soul"? Well, Shades obviously wasn't my lover (get your mind out of the gutter child), but that's the kind of intimacy, except 700 fold, that the song is talking about. I think God gave me these two lovely months so that I could understand a little better how He loves me and how I should love Him. Excluding this last week, they've been wonderful and I thank God for letting me have the experience. Well, I still thank God for this last week, of course, but it wasn't the same as the rest of the time. Ah well, Dad rented I, Robot last night and we watched that after I'd calmed down. Today HH had their auditions and I judged. It was really long, but I took myself to the mall and Nikki took me dinner and ice-cream afterwards, so it's all good. Heh, Shades is the one who taught me how to get over guys. It might be a little hard because I'm using his method, but I know it works. Gah, it really sucks right now that everything reminds me of him. I pray that God will bless him immeasurably. He's an amazing person. Please keep both of us in your prayers. Break ups are never fun, so I've heard. But enough of that. On the good side, Mom and I are getting along really well this week. School starts on Tuesday. Woo hoo. ::smirks:: Go me, rocking the two and a half classes. I'm going to pick a person to eulogize today. I had a meeting last Wednesday for Shock Wave and the man that led the meeting is an amazing person. His name is Mr Scott. His insight in God and life and people is just so clear. He's a people person. Not meaning he enjoys being w/ people, but that he reads people and knows how to respond to them and wants to respond in a way that is good for them. I think that's just too cool. He reminded me a lot of Brian, my MS brother. I think there are going to be some changes at Shock Wave. There's a new wind blowing and I like what I smell. ::grins:: Darling, I love you so much. Stay in God's grace. Keep me in your prayers and I'll keep you in mine. Mwah!
Psalm 19:14
"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Something different

Hey kiddies, just letting you know that I've balanced out a bit emotionally. I won't be overdosing on any of my antibiotics any time soon. ::winks:: Dad has me on some new stuff, so hopefully I'll get better soon. I'm getting sick of being sick. How boring. Gah. lol, k, LE: pshaw, five: I... Drat, last time I had an "I", I had to go with someone I barely knew. Hmm, we could try this a different way. Just for today. Maybe it'll bomb, but let's construe the "I" as being me. I obviously can't eulogize myself, so can I enlist you? I'm not fishing for compliments, but to be honest, I could use a nice comment or two right about now. Even some constructive criticism would be welcome. If you feel so inclined, leave a comment. Love ya lots!
Psalm 136:1
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
His love endures forever."

Mmmmm

I feel horrible. God, help me. I want to understand. I need to learn. Help me work this out. Help me rely on You. Mmmmm, ok, so yesterday, Mom and I had another mmmm disagreement. It's always stupid little things that I let build up until I can't take it anymore. I've had a horrible attitude all week. I've been trying to deal with it, but I dunno. Prolly from being in the house too much. I really had been fighting to keep it under control and in check. Yesterday I woke up and everything bothered me. I was in a bad mood from the moment I woke up. Needless to say, all the little things I'd been trying to let go of bit at me. Every irritating little nag that in actuality was probably not at all unreasonable seemed unforgiveable. By the time we got into the car to go to Harmonizers, I was already mad. Mom knew it, I knew it, David knew it. But she still picks two minutes later to start on me. That's not right, she didn't start on me. She mmmmm began an unfortunate choice of subject mmmmm at an inopportune time. I was still trying hard not to talk back. For one, David was in the car and I hate it when he has to hear Mom and I. For two, there was still a part of me that didn't want this to start again. For three, there was still a small part of me that said she wasn't being unreasonable, she just doesn't know how to express herself in a way that makes a reasonable statement or request sound reasonable to someone who is in an unreasonable mood. ::sighs:: I think I only said anything once during the whole time she was talking. It wasn't an angry comment, it was a request about what she was talking about. The whole conversation just made me so mad. We finally get to Church and I stalk out of the car, past all the smiling little kids, fake a smile back, even held a reasonable, if short, but polite conversation with a lady (Acting in Life 101) all the way to the back bathroom. I made it to a stall and then lost it. It was horrible. I just was so mad. After I'd had my cry, I washed up and made it half way down the hall. Then mmmmmmm ::grits teeth:: God, help me, I've got to work this out. I met one of Mom's friends. She wasn't who I wanted to see just then. She's not one of the people who reads me very well. She asked where I'd been cuz I'd missed about the first fifteen minutes and I just said I wasn't feeling well. Then she asked if I was ok. Gah. I said no and lost it again. So I stalked back to the bathroom. She mmmmm followed me. Promising not to judge. She made me talk. Mmmmmm. I know she's gonna tell mom I was crying. I HATE THIS. God help me. Anyway, I tried to be reasonable in my explanation. ::tries to be reasonable in this explanation:: ::grits teeth:: I will not be dramatic. This is life. Just life, deal with it Tamra and stop thinking you're the center of the universe. Ok. Mmmm. She gave me a little lecture about how one day when I'm thirty I'll come back and say, "Yes, mom, you were so right." Not what I needed. Well, God knows best, so maybe it was what I needed. I have to believe that it was. I have to be rational. She tells me to get up and to just keep going. Gah. When I said I'd been trying so hard to not get an attitude she just kept saying to stop trying and just do. I can't do if I don't try, can I? I don't think she understood what I meant. Maybe she thought I meant that I'd only been trying. Mmmmm. Mk, so she finally, no stop that, she left and I cleaned myself up and tried to make my eyes stop looking Asian and went out to do help w/ the drama section. Thankfully, I've been sick for the past monthish so I just passed it off as not feeling good to everyone that asked. That also accounted for being sniffly and glassy-eyed. I just went through the routine and treated myself to lunch and ice-cream while I waited for Davey to finish co-op. Things went alright for a bit. Mom dropped me off at Dad's office so he could check me out. This stupid sinus infection won't go away, so he's got me back on meds. I called Shades to see if he wanted to come out w/ us to see Finding Neverland, but the poor boy is sick again. I hate myself, I should have been sympathetic and caring with him on the phone but I couldn't stop thinking about what Mom had said that morning and I was short and trite. He picked up on it even as sick as he is and was sweet. And I was a jerk. A self-centered jerk. God, why can't I have more self-discipline? Why can't I be more understanding. Maybe it's a good thing because it means I always know that when I'm nice to someone it's only because He's stronger than I am and He's working through me, but... Mmmmm. If I had more self-discipline and was more understanding, I would rely on my own strength even more than I already do. It would take me so much longer to come crawling back to Him when I try to do things on my own over and over again. I'm so stupid. Such a stubborn idiot. God, help me. God, I want to be more like You. I want to be who You want me to be. I can't stand being who I am. I can barely stand anything about me, much less want to continue being me. God, I'm crying out to You. Please hear me. No, stop Tamra. God, I don't want to cry again. I'm being so dramatic. So stupid. Ok, God, what can You teach me through this? You take everything and work it for good. You are my creater, You're the one who can fix me. I'm clinging to Your promises. Help me understand. Show me why I can't have a mother who understands me and is more mature than I am. Show me why I have to learn to deal with people in authority who are intimidated and jealous of me. I CAN'T HELP WHO YOU'VE MADE ME TO BE. Ok, I understand people and love interacting with them and you gave me a brain that loves learning. I thought that was supposed to be a good thing. Why does she have to have an inferiority complex that makes me feel like I should hide it? I want to become more like You, but why do the parts of me that don't seem to be bad have to stay hidden? God, I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of not being able to please her. I'm tired of worrying about every action and what everyone will think of me. I'm tired of measuring every action by whether people will approve of me and show me love. Why can't I just rest in Your love and do what I know is right. Heh, why do I have to be human? Gah. In a week, or maybe even an hour, I'll look at this and say, man, I'm so stupid, it was such minutiae. Oh well. I guess it's part of being a teen-age drama queen, hey? Maybe God will give me the answers someday. I've just got to believe that He's still in control. I've gotta run, darling. Keep me in your prayers, please. No live eulogy today. My heart hurts too much. I don't have anything to give right now. That's not true. God's blessing be with you, dearest. His blessing is all I have. It's all I ever have. And His love. I have His love and I offer it to You. Thank God.

SNOW

Hey kiddies! Snow! Meddled with HTML stuff today, you can take a gander if ya want... Tada.

Mmmm

Boys are so unoriginal. Maybe I should try to be sympathetic, but really, I'd think you could come up with better introductory... no, not even introductory, opening questions than, "Are you in this class?", "Are you Spanish?", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, my own personal favorite, "Are you reading that?" (this last comment referred to the book that was sitting open in front of me). I understand that females appear scary, but if you're going to hit on me at all at least have the decency to be interesting. There are so many sweet/funny/attention-getting pick up lines out there. You don't even have to think of them on your own! Goodness. It's not like I'm going to go out w/ you anyway. Are there really girls out there who give their phone number to random strangers? If there are, I wish they would stop, so that the male population would get discouraged and give up. I understand that you would like to meet new people, but please, do not interrupt me when I am walking in the opposite direction of you or working on the computer. And especially do not interrupt me when I am reading a book. You see, I have to be polite to you because you are a stranger, but only acquaintances should be allowed to make pointless interruptions. I would prefer to limit this to friends, but that would be unkind. I'm all in favor of answering a legitimate question, but "Are you Spanish?" does not appear in that category. I'm also in favor of meeting new people when neither of us are doing anything else and when both parties are inclined to have a conversation, but an interruption followed by a random question, a short answer, and one of the two parties exiting does not qualify. Cha. The Syracuse audition went well, by the way. I'm in the middle of a wonderful book called "Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett. I think I will go see what's happening in Discworld. Before I finish, LE: three: Y? Ylll. Yyyyyyyour mom. I'm not in the mood for a live eulogy right now. I'll come back on later and add one. Man, nothing like conviction, is there? Gah, I can't end with that and just tag a Bible verse onto the end of this post. That's horrible. It misrepresents me as a person and what I stand for, which is even worse. My apologies to the boy at the library that irritated me. Ranting and raving about an irritation was childish of me. What can I do to lighten my mood? Mmmm, let me go to the kitchen and get a marshmallow, that should make me feel better and clear my mind... I wonder what it would taste like if I put this chocolate/peanut butter candy in my hot chocolate w/ the marshmallow. Mmmm, unfortunately for experimentation, I was loathe to sacrifice the chocolate, so we'll never know. Mwahaha. Ylll, the hot chocolate doesn't taste so chocolatey after I've had a piece of real chocolate. Oh well, it's still good. Mk, my dear, I apologize for my rant. Let me try that live eulogy now that I'm in a better frame of mind. Twelve... Man, O. ::sighs:: llOyd Alexander. The author. I don't know him, haven't met him, but I have enjoyed his writing growing up. I may not have liked that the end of the Black Cauldron series didn't have a cotton candy ending, but that's a good thing. I need to be faced with reality every now and then when I seek to escape it. It's not that it didn't have a happy ending, just the ending was realistic and made you realize that life goes on past "happily ever after". It also made you realize that life would end past "happily ever after". The hero was offered immortality but he would have had to abandon those who trusted him to receive it. He stays with his people, so the reader is pleased, but now there's this idea hanging at the back of your consciousness that the hero will die someday. Or for those unfortunate souls who have not practiced pushing thoughts to the back of their minds, the thought is in the foreground of their brains and taunts them. Kinda depressing. But still, he got the girl and saved the world, so it can't be that bad. Wow, I just can't make this work, can I? What spirit of cynicism has seized me? I apologize to you, my reader. Leave a nice optimistic note for me, would ya? I'm not in a bad mood, I just can't seem to get in a good mood. But, God is faithful when I am faithless, so I will still end with a verse. Let me find one...
1 Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

BOREDOM

Sitting here at the computer... Just me and my poptart. Well, it was just me and my poptart. Unfortunately, I had to finish it off so that I could type properly. Anyway, I'm sitting her at the computer wondering why everyone has gone to bed. It's only 10:30, for crying out loud. Ok, I lied, 10:47. But everyone started getting off quite a while ago. I guess it is a school night. Kids, I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO. I'm so bored. Maybe I'll go to the mall or something tomorrow. I can't even call up Shua cuz he went back to Waste Management today. Hehe. Sorry, kiddo, couldn't resist. But really, whenever I see those trucks with the WM in yellow letters on green... ::giggles:: I guess I am tired. See, my logic is that the longer I stay up right now, the later I'll sleep tomorrow morning. Which means that I'll have fewer hours of nothing to do. Ya wanna hear what I've done today? Lemme think... Mk, I woke up, went downstairs on a whim and played DDR for like an hour. Went back upstairs and took a bath. A real, live, luxurious bath. Bath salts and everything. Came back downstairs and called Shua to say goodbye. He was about five minutes away from W&M and had just woken up a few minutes before. I have good timing. ::winks:: Got on the puter and rambled and distracted Shades from the work he was doing. Bad me. I got thinking about Lincoln Logs and wondered if we still had ours, but Mom told me to go clean my room at 3:30 so I didn't do anything about it. I cleaned my room very slowly and around five I came back down and got on the computer again. At about this time, I realized that I had never gone on my quest for the Long Lost Lincoln Logs of Antioch, so I trekked down to the depths of my abode and found them. They came with directions. So I'm sitting there, well, here, at the computer, talking to Shades and playing with toys and for some reason I call him a dork. He calls me a geek... I couldn't say anything... ya know why? Because I was sitting there, not only playing with Lincoln Logs, not only following the directions that came with the Lincoln Logs, but also wearing a tshirt that reads: "There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't." I guess at the core of who I am, I really am a geek. ::grins:: Yay, I have a label. (Read the last post to understand that reference.) Ok, sorry, back to my boring account... Family gets home, we eat dinner... Messed w/ the guitar a little. Gotta get my calluses back before I have to play for the kiddies again. My poor fingertips are sore just from the little bit of playing I did. Now I'm back on the computer and still BORED OUT OF MY HEAD. I've gotta find something to do tomorrow. Mom's doing aerobics in the morning, but I don't want something to do in the morning. I want to sleep in the morning. That's what mornings are for. Ya know, if you've read all the way down to this point, I've just completely wasted what is probably about five minutes of your life. I've wasted a lot more of my own life. Yll, that's kinda depressing. Hopefully, you've received some form of amusement from this, because otherwise, this was a completely fruitless five minutes of your life that you'll never have back again. Whoa, sorry, pessimistic streak got in there. Mmm, thinking too much today. I try not to let the pessiimistic side of my leak out, my apologies. Haha, people think I'm only an optimist. They just can't hear my thoughts. Well, I am an optimist, but I don't think exclusively optimistically. Hmm, it's a good thing that we can't hear everything that everyone thinks. That would be bad. Or it would be if everyone had the same kind of thoughts I do. Mk, I'm done now. LE: two: I... Umm, Ian, Stacey's b/f, whom I have met twice. What do I know about him? He's extremely funny. He's good for and to Stacey. He's a nice guy. I hope God blesses him. K, kiddies, that sums it up for me. Love ya dearly!!!!
James 1:27
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Future

Hey kiddies, I'm at Uppa's house right now. One audition down, one to go. The one this morning went alright, I think. They said I'll know within the next month. Best case scenario: They tell me I'm accepted, and I don't have to worry that I won't get into any of the colleges I applied to. That would be nice. Then I could calm down and be more at ease for the CMU audition. BUT if I am not accepted, well, I'll decide how to respond if I get that news. Syracuse audition tomorrow. There's a dance segment in that one, so that'll be fun. Hopefully it won't be anything terribly hard. I need to remember to stretch before I go to bed tonight. OH! I didn't tell you! Stupid me didn't check to see who the respondants were when they talked to us about Zombie Prom, right? THE RESPONDANT I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THE ENTIRE FREAKING TIME IS THE HEAD OF DRAMA AT CMU! Cha. Perfect opportunity to have introduced myself. Bleah. Fortunately, I did interact with him a bit, so maybe he'll remember me if I mention it to the audition people. That's not til February, though. For the audition today, I wasn't allowed to do much of the songs, so I got to end Unexpected Song before the high note. Tomorrow I have to do all of both. Grrr. Stupid G's. Like I said, today felt pretty good. Man, I wish it were Monday. ::grins:: I had a spaz attack in the car on the way up here. Thankfully, God calmed me down. This morning I just made as many connections with other people as I could. It made me feel more real. It made me feel like THEY were more real and less like judgmental demi-gods who held my future in their uncaring hands. ::grins:: See, if I let myself overanalyze, I go crazy. I have to just view this stuff as an audition. And ultimately, I've gotta remember that God's in control and He's not gonna let me starve or give me anything that I can't handle w/ His strength. If I don't get into a college, then there's something else He's got planned. It just rubs me raw that everything is in the future. Meaning it hasn't happened yet. Meaning that I have to wait to find out. I HATE SUSPENSE. ::grins:: Heck, I couldn't stand it when I was a kid reading my first chapter books. I'd have to force myself to keep reading because I knew that it would turn out alright in the end (cuz it was a book), but the stupid characters were so dumb! Ok, enough of a torrential rant there. That was awfully random. ::raises eyebrow:: Maybe that's why I don't have nicknames referring to my personality. I'm not consistent enough for anyone to label me. ::grins:: Except, of course, for my dear Zombie Prom friends who refer to me as "Klepto". Ahhhh, memories. Mk... LE_12_M_Mooooo_Matt McCetcetera! My favorite science teacher EVER! One of the few science courses I enjoyed. He's in Iraq now. My prayers go out to him. Prayers and thanks. Love ya kiddies, keep the world in your prayers. Everyone needs God. That's just the way humanity goes.
Psalm 28:7
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song."

No continuity, whatsoever

Hey y'all, had a weirdo weekend. Like I said in the last post, I was too sick to do anything on Sunday or Monday. Seth called at some point in the last couple of days (all of them ran together in one flu-ish haze) while I was contemplating the ivy in my front yard and told me to enjoy the experience cuz it was the closest I'd ever get to being high. ::crosses eyes:: Gotta love that kid, lol. By Tuesday, no, I lied, by Monday night, I couldn't stand being cloistered anymore, quarantined would have been the better word, ah well, so I went to bed comparitively early. Went to Panera w/ Jon on Tuesday. Much fun, hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving time. He's such a goofball. I'll miss my T-boys when they leave next year. They'd better come back and visit me. Or maybe I'll just have to hunt them down. Mwahaha. Went to Shades' swim meet after that. The Dons played against McDonough, so I saw Reilly on the other team. Didn't have a chance to say hello. ::slaps wrist:: Bad Tiki. Had a weird convo w/ Kevin after the meet. ::raises eyebrow:: He's a funny one. Something about people with no legs and the genie's wrist cuffs. ::sighs:: Those Loyola boys. ::grins:: Hit up Coldstone Creamery w/ Shades and watched Chicago. I know, I know, I'm such a horrible person, I'd never seen it before. ::shrugs:: Wow, too many descriptions in the last couple of sentences. I don't really do any of these actions. They're just what would be done if my brain were actually my body. Or maybe if I was actually saying this out loud instead of typing it. Had to go out to the farm this morning. Ylll. Hopping more fences, baaaaaad idea. Came home and crashed. I think I slept from 9 to 2. Nice long nap. Family got home about five hours after I did last night. They're SO STINKING TAN. Shalt not envy, shalt not envy. TOO LATE. lol. They had a good time but there were problems with their plane coming home so they had to bus it from Norfolk to Dulles and then drove home from Dulles. Not much fun for them. Then I got up two hours after they got home to clean up after a couple of ponies. Isn't life grand? ::grins:: I'm not actually upset, I'm just complaining. ::winks:: I wish I were more easygoing. I'm already biting my tongue again. ::sighs:: At least I found out that I can handle indepedence. It was actually good for me cuz it forced me to make decisions instead of waiting around for others to do stuff for me. I'm such a bum. Voice lesson tomorrow and Les Mis rehearsal afterwards. I'm interested to see what my voice is gonna do cuz I've been staying off of it as much as possible. I dunno if it'll be fine or if it's gonna feel abused. I've gotta remember not to push during rehearsal. Have those stupid auditions this weekend. ::chews nails:: Say a prayer for me if you get the chance. Pray that I won't freak out. ::grins:: Mmmmm, I gotta learn to rely on God. I KNOW that I can't do it on my own, I'm just so stubborn. And it takes discipline to rely on His strength. I'm not very good about that. In any arena of my life, really. Apparently, I like to try things on my own and then feel guilty when they don't work out. CUZ I'M STUPID. ::shakes head:: I don't know if I'm a control freak or if I'm just lazy. ::shrugs:: Mk, I'm gonna wrap this up. LE: hehe, 45... ::counts slowly:: S... ssssss... Seth M., my summer time friend. He's a good kid. Makes me think about things that I normally take for granted. He's just got an interesting outlook on life that makes me reevaluate my own perspective. ::grins:: He's a gentle beast. Like I said, good kid. I hope God has many blessings in store for him. Check out this verse, kiddies. I wish it would just play in my head all the time when I'm talking to fellow Christians. I need reminding about unity. How can I ever shine clearly if I am in conflict with my Christian family?
Galatians 3:26-28
"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.

Sick

Hey kiddies, had to miss both Shock Wave AND my voice lesson. Grr. Almost finished my Royal Servants app. At least I did SOMETHING productive. All that's left are the health forms and signatures from 'rents/youth pastor. Bleah. I don't feel so hot. Mmm, soup is yummy. I like soup. Nyah, don't feel like writing anymore. LE: 12: A: Addendum is my friend. He's a cool skater. Excellent counselor. The kids love him. I had a lot of cool conversations with him this summer. K, kiddies, I need sleep. Love ya dearly...
First Thessalonians 5:17
"Pray continuously."

ACTF

Hey Kidzes! ACTF went very well! I was quite pleased. We didn't win regionals, but it was such an honor to be a finalist! I didn't make it past the preliminaries w/ the Irene Ryan competition, but a friend of mine was a semi-finalist, so we got to cheer her on in that round. Again, I was pleased with how my scene went and it was the best we'd ever done, so that's all I can do. I see now that I really should have done more research so that I would have understood the character better instead of interpreting her how I saw fit, but that was something good to learn. Ithaca and Syracuse auditions are next weekend, so I'm polishing up my stuff for them. I'm still pretty sick, so I don't know how it's gonna go. I have a voice lesson w/ Ms Adriana tomorrow, so hopefully she'll help me. I have to drive to VA all by myself. ::chews nails and grins:: It'll be an adventure! Shock Wave starts up again tonight! Kiddies, it was so cool to see God moving in the cast this weekend. We were all so frazzled and tired and nervous and excited and scared. He really gave us strength though. It was our best performance. Lauren was freaking amazing!!!! She was practically dying, but she gave it absolutely everything she had. Went to Shades' swim meet yesterday. Much fun, I'd never been to one before. ::grins:: Should have brought my sunglasses. Went out to eat w/ my grandparents for dinner. Hmm, the structure of that sentence could have been better. Pthbt. Went to a party afterwards, much fun! Played Apples to Apples and Psychiatrist and Mafia. I'm so medicated right now, last night I was a nut. The later it gets, the less inhibited I get. So by 9ish last night and after a bunch of caffeine, I probably resembled some state of intoxication. I can almost bend my toes all the way now! This is exciting. Hopefully by this weekend I'll be able to dance painlessly. My memory is so horrible. I really need to find a way to improve it. It's not that I don't pay attention to what people are saying, I just can't make it stick. Maybe I have an audio comprehension disorder. Do those exist? ::shrugs:: LE: Umm... Numbers... two... E... Ehhhh, eeeeee, ellll, errrrr, Ethan, Erin, Ellen... Emily Amby! My darling girl. She's amazing/gorgeous/sporty/talented/humble/sweet... I wish I was more like her because she has the most beautiful personality you could ever meet. Her spiritual insight is so clear. I love talking to this girl. We got to most of the summer together and I miss her dreadfully. K kiddies, love you dearly, say a prayer for my health if you get the chance...
Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Pix Time!

Hey kiddies, here are some pics I've been meaning to post. Hope none of the other people in the pictures mind. If you do, let me know and I'll think about taking them down. ::grins::

Fireside

Another of the T-boys and my girl, well, his girl, but I'm going to steal her. ::winks::

Yay for Dizzle!

Me and one of my T-boys.

Homecoming

Cafeteria fun...

I told y'all about me feeding people a couple of posts ago... This is Andy's lovely depiction of one such occurence. ::grins:: Yes, it is a napkin. The caption says, "Tamra feeding the poor immigrating geese from Canada on her lawn" ... "while her father ^mock yells at her"

Happy New Year!

Coolest thing EVER!!! Well, not ever, but coolest thing that's happened today. This morning, I wake up (which is a cool thing in itself, thanks, God, for another day) and as I'm getting to Church, I think about my tithing. See, I set aside a tithe whenever I get money, but I never remember to take it with me on Sundays. This morning, I kept getting tapped to take it with me. I thought, "This is odd, I wonder why today is so important." Ya know what happened at Church today? One of the missionary families from Indonesia was home and they talked about the tsunami devastation. They asked people to pray and if they wanted to give, to mark it "Disaster Relief". For some reason, I had put the money in an envelope instead of just sticking it in my purse to put in the plate, so I pulled it out and marked it Disaster Relief. I'm just amazed by the way God works things out. There are so many things that have happened this year that I didn't understand at the time but understand now. They all were leading up to me being here, in this frame of mind, in this place, now. It gives me hope that the things happening now that I don't understand are also for some future reason. I'm just kinda amazed. I'm so glad I'm not God. ::shakes head:: Anywho, the party was sooooo much fun! I knew most of the people there and thought I was only gonna know two, so I was a happy person. I got to meet Cass, which rocked cuz I've heard so much about her and she's just as amazing as all the stories suggested. ::winks:: She reminds me a lil of LTP. ZP people will understand that comment. Let's see, yesterday... I cleaned my room... Nikki got here around fourish. We watched Thriller and some other old Michael Jackson videos. ::grins:: Much fun. Then we went to Shades' house and watched Garden State. Good movie. Not as good as Eternal Sunshine. Shades, I can't believe you're betting on an opinion. I guess she did sit in weird positions, but really only in the doctor's office. Yll, I'm sick. This stinks, I've got to get better. I'm on meds and I picked up some stuff called Airborne that Mr Carl suggested. If what I'm on doesn't start working in the next couple of days, I'll drop it and try the other stuff. It's herbal or something, so I could prolly take both, but I don't want to risk it since dad's not around. I can still sing, but I can't breathe. Grrrr (I'm a pterodactyl). Is there a song that goes "Do you remember Paris"...? I think our song "Exposé" is making fun of it, but there's only a hint of melody playing in my head, so I might be making that up. Or maybe I'm just a compulsive liar. ::winks:: On to today... Umm... went to Church w/ Nikki, already told you about that, dropped her off at work, now I'm here. I know, I know, I have such an exciting life. ::winks:: K, umm... Is there anything else? Shades is the most amazing person ever. Nikki rocks my world. We're gonna see Phantom tonight. I guess that's about it. I forgot to do the LE last time... umm... twelve (I should look at the numbers that I've picked in the past and see if there's a pattern at all, or at least a number that's prevalent, but maybe I'm just a dork for being curious). G... Gavin! He's a wonderful kid! So sweet and openhearted. I had so much fun working w/ him this summer. He's so supportive. Haha, oh my, so many memories. Gav, I'll be praying for y'all. Let me know what's going on. K, kiddies. I love you guys so much. I hope you know that. Have an amazing New Year!!! Mwah, over and out.
Hebrews 13:2
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."